I think it can be hard that you can't measure progress easily with spirituality. Although I don't have ED, I can empathise with the sense of accomplishment you get from numbers you can measure with; I like that sort of thing to urge me on to progress. Spirituality is really hard to feel accomplishment from sometimes, because even if you think that you are generally progressing, you have no personal meter. You can't tell if it's a lot or a little; you can't tell if you just took one step over a silly block or if you ran a mile; and if nothing is blocking you and you are going slow and steady, you sometimes can't tell whether you're travelling at all. Spiritual progress.... you can feel acceleration, but you can't feel speed. So, unless something dramatic changes how fast you are (or aren't) moving forward, you can't measure your progress easily, and it can be frustrating.